


Wouldn’t It Be Nice?

by Bicarisi



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Biphobia, Coming Out, Falling In Love, Fluff, Growing Up Together, M/M, No bata we die like men, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Discovery, Trans Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 04:43:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bicarisi/pseuds/Bicarisi
Summary: The story of Sonny Carisi and Rafael Barba falling in love throughout the years





	Wouldn’t It Be Nice?

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea since October and I just finally decided to write it and I’m so excited for it!! This first chapter is just basically Sonny figuring himself out so I hope you enjoy!

At eighteen years old, Sonny Carisi still had no idea what he wanted in life. His grades weren’t that great, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to go to college or not, what career he wanted, but above all; he wasn’t sure if he liked men or not. And he didn’t know what to do with that. 

He really wasn’t sure when he started questioning his sexuality, he came out as trans at sixteen and had been on testosterone for almost a year now. He felt comfortable being with girls, and with his girlfriend Alison, but something just felt off to him; kinda like there was something missing. 

He guesses it started at a sleepover at Casey’s. She wanted to show him a standup special on Netflix that she knew he would love; John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid. 

At first Sonny admired him, he watched the special several times, interviews on YouTube, quoted his skits on a regular bases, etc. and that’s normal right? Sonny thought to himself, it was okay for him to admire this guy and think he’s handsome, it wasn’t like he was in love with him or anything. He kept telling himself that until Casey and Amanda confronted him about it. 

“So, you like him?” Casey was the first to ask, Amanda was giving him the side eye.

“Yeah,” Sonny said after taking a bite of his Mac n Cheese. “He’s my favorite comedian! Why wouldn’t I like him?” He looked at them, his eyebrows raised and confused. 

Both of the women let out a deep, dramatic sigh. “Honey no-..” Amanda started before the lunch bell cut her off. For weeks onwards he was still confused about what they were asking him and why it was a concern of theirs. 

It actually didn’t hit Sonny that he possibly had a crush on John Mulaney until another sleepover, when they watched the Kid Gorgeous special. 

Early in the special, John talks about how he was confused on rather he thought his father thought he was gay or not, comparing him to Leonard Bernstein. It was the punchline that made an impact on Sonny. 

“...Like years later, I'd be in college about to go down on some rocking twink...” 

That made something in Sonny click. He still wasn’t sure what this meant, but something did hit him. “Oh. I think I might like guys.” He said out loud to Casey and Amanda without realizing it.

Sonny had no idea what to do with this information. He couldn’t like guys could he? He had a girlfriend and he loved her, so why did he have feelings for guys?. 

For about a month his whole Google search history was different variations of “am I gay?” Online quizzes, most of them said he was somewhere between forty-sixty percent gay and he didn’t know what that meant or what was suppose to mean. 

“You know, if you’re googling stuff like ‘am I gay?’ Or ‘am I bi?’, it means that you probably are.” Casey said; sprouting up behind him and scaring the poor boy. 

“Jesus Christ, Casey!” Sonny jumped, “you can’t scare me like that we’re in the library.” The comment just made Casey roll her eyes and she sat down next to him. 

“Hey… you know you can talk to me about this kinda stuff right? Come on baby boy what’s on your mind?” She said softly and caringly. 

Sonny takes a moment, longer than he thinks he should’ve. “I- how did you know that you where a lesbian?” He asked softly, not too loud for anyone to hear. 

She sighed, pulling her hair out of her face. “I don’t know, I just.. kinda always knew?”, she shrugged it off; almost like it was nothing. 

Sonny looked down, “the thing is.. I like girls too? Like I love Ali but like, liking guys too; I feel like it’s a burden?”. Sonny swore he could hear Casey’s heart break in half when he said the last sentence. 

“Sonny.. god you will never, ever, be a burden. I love you for you and maybe you don’t have to worry about it? Just for a little bit, are you happy with Ali?” 

He nods. 

“Then why not make it last? I know you’ll figure it out, and it will be okay; I promise.” 

And for months that’s what he did. Until Rafael Barba walked into his History class one day. 

Rafael Barba moved to Staten Island just a few months ago, all Sonny knew about him was that he was the smartest person he’s ever seen, that nobody could out rank him ever, that he was openly Bisexual and was the president of the schools GSA club, and that he had a reputation of being ‘easy’ at parties once you get a few drinks in him. 

But Sonny just wanted to know so much more about him. What was his favorite color? His favorite movie? Did he want to kiss Sonny like how Sonny pictured kissing him?. 

And this is when Sonny knew he was fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think I crave the attention and I just hope it’s good! 
> 
> My Twitter: @sunny_carisi


End file.
